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mental health

Patterns

I have to admit I’m enjoying the pseudo-anonymity of writing here. It reminds me of the days when I used to blog on Livejournal (yes, Livejournal).

I cringe when I read my old entries. Just now I logged into my very first Livejournal (freshman year of college) and landed on an old entry about my ex and a never-ending argument we were having about who-knows-what.

We had a lot of those kinds of arguments.

The funny thing about reading old journal entries is not just seeing how much things have changed, but realizing how much hasn’t changed. Reading old entries dating back to 2002-2003, I recognized old thought patterns, the genesis of some of my relationship traumas, and similarities between that ex and the exes to come.

I feel a bit frustrated by my predictability.